Frequencies

       Today I am reading a lot about frequencies, and how that is what our thoughts are. So it is basically saying that things on the same frequency attract each other. Here in the past few months I have had my thoughts on a very bad frequency. I have PTSD and Generalized Anxiety, which was caused by a drive by shooting that happened behind me while I was working. 

         Some days that is all I can think about. Having flashbacks throwing me back into that moment in time. I right now am in a contemplation mood were I am looking back and realizing that the one thing in the past is controlling my future. So since I can see it, it is time to change it. I understand that this event was a big life event for me and I will never forget it. I have been frustrated about how it has taking over my life.  So today and everyday after I am going to put new frequencies into my brain to be broadcasted out into the world and allow good things to happen, instead of allowing this negative frequency to take control of me. This negative frequency that is only going to cause other negative things to happen. 

         Positive thoughts are my focus I'm going to write down things I like about myself, my life, and my great future with my Partner Martin. I understand that some days are going to be hard and some days I'll want to forget about it all together. That is why I will I trust in someone that will no matter what remind me to look at the things I have written. These things that I am thankful for. I will also start praying for the people that have it worse then I do. Feel free to message me if you need prayers. These new thoughts and actions will cause me to have a positive frequency that will create positive events in my life to occur. I started this post after taking a nice long jog, exercise creates positive thoughts and actions! I hope you enjoy, and would love your feed back.   

Chapters

      I as everyone does have chapters in our lives. These chapters are more like stages of self recognition or discovery. All throughout my life I remember me looking for more then what is there. I for some reason have always felt like I spiritually need to grow more in this lifetime. This feeling has made it hard to just live a normal life without searching for something more. 
     When I was just a little boy I felt a lot older the I am. I still to this day look at people my own age as little kids. Every now and then I find what I see an old soul and they are close to my age and I see them as a peer. Is it that spiritually I am that much older then my peers, is my soul that much older? If that is the case which it might be. It would be my duty as a spiritual elder to teach some of the younger souls to look past what is our reality, as a human and see that there is a bigger picture then the drama that we entertain our selves with. Some people can get so wrapped up in the drama that it drives them crazy. When what we should be doing is teaching, learning and caring for ourselves. When I say ourselves I truly mean all of us, as human we see ourselves as individuals, when we should be seeing that truly we are one. 
      Our thoughts are what makes the world what it is today, and as we can see most of us think negatively about everything. Doubt is our worst enemy and doubt only exists in ourselves. If we start to add just one thought into our mind, like the world is a peaceful and harmonious  place to be. We as a whole putting that thought out to the universe, I feel that the world would start to change and become something of a heaven on earth. 
         These paragraphs before this one are in my option very true. I wrote them about 6 months ago, my frame of mind was in a better place then it is right now. I had something happen to me and I am trying to get back on track to becoming my better self. I wake up everyday with extra struggles just to step out of the door, its even a bigger struggle to get in the car. I doctors are helping with medication, but as anyone who knows me can atest that I hate medication. Having put all the power in Gods hands to help me get through this rough time, and being blessed already with a caring and loving man to hold and care for me. I want this plateform and these posts within it to give someone other than me the power to change there life for the better. I feel strongly that by helping others I intern help myself.

Mountains

      It seems here in Earth there are obstacles in which we must get over all the time. I have had one of those you would call a mountain.

       I was working and watched an SUV get shot behind me. The SUV had four people in it and by the grace of God they were saved and the 8 year old boy got shot in the leg and the 26 year old got shot in the butt. So everyone ended up ok. That one event has caused me so much trouble and pain. I now have PTSD and general anxiety, this comes with flash backs and panic attacks.

      I am a strong believer in holistic approach and have been fighting with me doctor about putting me on medication. They have me on something for the anxiety and are now going to be putting me on something for the flash backs. I was at work when this happened and now I am fighting for them to pay for the medical bills. I for one would never have been there if it wasn't for the fact I was working. I went back to work on July 20th and ATT proved to be unforgiving. The retaliation that I'm receiving from them is of course not considered out of normal practice in the m&p. So truly there is nothing that can be done about it the union is paid by the company so it no longer serves its purpose.

     So I am sorry for ranting I have no inspiring messages for the day. Hopefully next time I will be more uplifting and inspire someone to do something, that will change the world from what it is becoming.